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Showing posts with label Adult. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adult. Show all posts

Friday, March 1, 2013

Change of URL + THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE by Audrey Niffenegger



Okay, first off, I'm changing my URL, so it'll no longer be "Fireworksanddaisies.blogspot.com". 

What will it be? - "Aaron611.blogspot.com". So, yeah.








Houghton Mifflin Harcourt - May 27th, 2004
Synopsis: A dazzling novel in the most untraditional fashion, this is the remarkable story of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian who travels involuntarily through time, and Clare Abshire, an artist whose life takes a natural sequential course. Henry and Clare's passionate love affair endures across a sea of time and captures the two lovers in an impossibly romantic trap, and it is Audrey Niffenegger's cinematic storytelling that makes the novel's unconventional chronology so vibrantly triumphant.

An enchanting debut and a spellbinding tale of fate and belief in the bonds of love, The Time Traveler's Wife is destined to captivate readers for years to come.


God, I've heard people gush about this book. So many women have placed this on their Favorites lists! 

I saw the movie, and was genuinely excited about reading this after falling in love with the characters of Henry and Clare through the adaption (played by the handsome Eric Bana, and the beautiful Rachel McAdams, respectively). And rightfully so, because the story, book and movie, is wonderful!

But what isn't is the writing in the book.

UGH.

I could only get about 175 pages into this book, and then I had to stop. SHE JUST INCLUDED WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

I actually really enjoyed what I got to see of the book side of Henry and Clare, and what the characters Bana and McAdams played on screen came from, you know-the originals? And, as I said, I did/do love the story, writing aside. The writing comes very beautifully at times, and I even read some lines where I questioned why someone hadn't already copied it in flow-y handwriting on a scrap of paper, taken a picture of it with one of Instagram's hipster filters, and then uploaded it to the Quotes section on Pinterest. There's some genuinely delectable turns of phrase on display here!

But then I got hit with one of the author's info dumps, these ocassional speed bumps in the otherwise flowing prose, perhaps a handful of references to obscure artists the author thinks every reader should know the work of (something like, "Clare liked the work of [insert name of 17th century French painter], who worked with [some weird medium of papermaking we've never heard of], in [rural countryside town in Europe you've never heard of], while listening to [name of 15th century Austrian musician].")

Thankfully those speed bumps didn't come up that often, so I could get past them after a while.

What I had an even harder time getting past was the chapter headers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. The beginnings of the chapter were insane! These are the things she listed at the beginning of each one:

1. A chapter title.
2. Clare's and Henry's age.
3. The year it took place.




4. WHERE it took place.




5. And if there were two Henry's (because of one of them time-travelling) she listed the SECOND HENRY'S AGE, TOO.
(This is what happens to a reader when you overload them with too much information to contain.)


Then the info dumps kept coming, and coming, to the point where she'd just talk about all of these philosophy/art/music references that confused me and made me feel totally lost, because I couldn't quite grasp what these characters obviously seemed to be experts on. I started to skip through these parts, and nothing would have come out of them, so I was like: 


I left at the point in the story where Ms. Niffenegger decided to drop the icing on the cake of info dumps, a point where Henry and Clare were playing a game of chess: SHE GAVE EVERY CHESS PIECE MOVE. WHAT. NO. DON'T TRY, AUDREY, DEAR. NO. UGH.

Seriously. She literally listed every move: "Rook to A-12. Knight to J-9. Queen to R-1." It was AGONIZING.

So... Yeah. This book definitely does not get my stamp of approval for the fact that of the author's use of pretentious references, her large and therefore ultra-confusing chapter beginners, and her info dumps that never end up serving purposes.

See ya!
Aaron

Friday, September 28, 2012

THE PARTICULAR SADNESS OF LEMON CAKE by Aimee Bender

June 1st, 2010 - Doubleday
Synopsis: On the eve of her ninth birthday, unassuming Rose Edelstein bites into her mother's homemade lemon-chocolate cake and discovers she has a magical gift: she can taste her mother’s emotions in the slice. To her horror, she finds that her cheerful mother tastes of despair. Soon, she’s  privy to the secret knowledge that most families keep hidden: her father’s detachment, her mother’s transgression, her brother’s increasing retreat from the world. But there are some family secrets that even her cursed taste buds can’t discern.

So, basically this book has kind of pretty prose, but that's where the prettiness stops. 

I start the book, and I'm thinking, "Okay. This is cool! I love the idea of her tasting the emotions of whoever cooked the food she's eating! So cool! Oh! What clever and witty banter! Hardee-har-har!"

You know, it starts out good, actually. I thought I was going to really like this for a while, because the first quarter is actually very good. I liked her mother at first: You're made to feel pitiful towards her, as she slips into a rut in life, and desperately searches for something to cling to. But by halfway through the book, I was like...

SHE WAS SO ARGHBHIWOUCNQWOFULQKLBLNCQWCNHRY938Y3RP222222222XMF724XCN! GAH! SHE WAS SO STUPID AND UGH!

She obviously loved Rose's older stupid hoe brother, Joseph, more than her, and Rose even admits it!!! DESPITE HIS BEING A TOTAL D-BAG! God! He's such a freaking brat! He gets what he wants, and he doesn't thank anyone. Later in the book (and this really isn't a spoiler, because it doesn't really affect the plot) when it skips to five years later, he's moved out into an apartment, and the. Mother. Is. Freaking. Paying. His. Rent. And. For. His. College. Classes. He doesn't thank her, and yet she's all googly-eyes over him. I mean, seriously-she doesn't spend a squick of time with her husband, and yet she's fawning over her son.

You know what...? Now that I think of it, they were probably committing incest behind the scenes. It wouldn't surprise me either: If the Jackson Five, Honey Boo-Boo, and the Kardashians were to donate genes, and scientists used them to grow a family, the Edelstein's would be the dysfunctional, messed-up thing that came out.

So let me get back to the characters. Like I said, the mom's an idiot. But now let me rant about Joseph more. So this little brat, who's labelled a total genius in school, comes home every day and holes himself in his room. Rose keeps mentioning stories, which kind of just build up his reputation as a brat. For instance, in one, she laments of how her brother comes to the dining room table, and doesn't talk at all. He doesn't make conversation, but is just quiet. He just reads crap. He reads the boxes of whatever his mom made to cook the meal they're eating, and once, when Rose took the box in front of him away, he just stared into space for a minute and then closed his eyes. Rose's mom, being the beyond stupid person she is, believes he, though only about eight years-old at the time of this, is closing his eyes so he can focus on the taste of the food better, and so she closes her eyes for the rest of the meal and "mmmm"s. When asked later why she followed Joseph's lead, her mother tells Rose that when she gave birth to him at the hospital, and she saw his bright eyes for the first time, she knew he would guide her through life (whatever hippy crap that means), and she goes on to explain she basically saw nothing in her daughter's eyes.

Her brother was so arrogant when left alone with her as well. He would brag about how smart he is, and I was just like...

Then, when "certain" things were revealed later in the story (the last forty pages of which I skimmed so I wouldn't have to endure them, but still wanted to see if the little twerp got what was coming to him) I was honestly like...


And...


Then her dad was just a really annoying guy, because you could tell he knew his family was falling apart, but he was like, "Haha! Nope! I won't do anything!"

None of these characters were realistic, and also, their dialogue was so annoying, because none of them ever really confronted each other about something, but they instead just danced around the subject and used euphemisms and really awful metaphors. 

I was sympathetic for Rose at first, and then I read the whole book... Nope. She's so calm, even when faced with an annoyingly stupid mother who loves her annoyingly bratty brother who avoids their annoyingly evasive father. Another instance of stupidity (again, this really doesn't affect the plot at all): Rose says she hates this guy as a kid, and then, later as a college-age girl, she makes out with him, "... occasionally," she says, nonchalantly, as if she's saying she likes to venture from 2% milk and get whole every now and then! Then, because her slutty skanky friend brags about losing her virginity, Rose has sex with the guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT.


Sadly, this is one of the worst books I've ever read in the history of the universe, ever, in a billion trillion years. Ever. Which kind of sucks, because I had high hopes for this one, it being a wonderful premise. But by the end I was like...




Let us say a prayer before I leave: "Lord, I pray that books which fit into the same level of awfulness as this one never receive the gift of publication, and if they do...

-Aaron

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

THE HELP by Kathryn Stockett + New Years Update

Well, first off, before I get to the review, hope y'all had a very merry Christmas and New Years! I got some awesome gifts for Christmas, including some liquid chalkboard (been wanting to have a chalkboard on my wall for awhile). So I painted it right away and now, I can't stop using it. *Sigh...* How I love thee chalkboard. I also spent some great time with some family that I don't typically get to see but once a year. And for New Year's Eve, I ended up going to some friends' house where we ate waffles around a bonfire and blew up stuff (and I'm not talking about fireworks).

Although I don't actually have any written New Years resolutions, and I didn't give it much thought, I've decided that I want to get better about my blog-posting. I need to post on schedule, and warn if I'm not going to be able to for whatever reason. I'm also going to finish my novel this year. Hopefully this spring-which would be pretty darn cool. And lastly, I'm going to start using more GIF's. I've begun stalking Tumblr, which is GIF galore. So, of course, this post is going to have several....

February 10th, 2009 - Amy Einhorn

Books/Putnam
Synopsis: Three ordinary women are about to take one
extraordinary step.
Twenty-two-year-old Skeeter has just returned home after graduating from Ole Miss. She may have a degree, but it is 1962, Mississippi, and her mother will not be happy till Skeeter has a ring on her finger. Skeeter would normally find solace with her
beloved maid Constantine, the woman who raised her, but Constantine has disappeared and no one will tell Skeeter where she has gone.

Aibileen is a black maid, a wise, regal woman raising her seventeenth white child. Something has shifted inside her after the loss of her own son, who died while his bosses looked the other way. She is devoted to the little girl she looks after, though she knows both their hearts may
be broken.

Minny, Aibileen’s best friend, is short, fat, and perhaps the sassiest woman in Mississippi. She can cook like nobody’s business, but she can’t mind her tongue, so she’s lost yet another job.
Minny finally finds a position working for someone too new to town to know her reputation. But her new boss has secrets of her own.Seemingly as different from one another as can be, these women will nonetheless
come together for a clandestine project that will put them all at risk. And why? Because t
hey are suffocating within the lines that define their town and their times. And sometimes lines are made to be crossed.

In pitch-perfect voices, Kathryn Stockett creates three extraordinary women whose determination to start a movement of their own forever changes a town, and the way women—mothers, daughters, caregivers, friends—view one another. A deeply moving novel filled
with poignancy, humor, and hope, The Help is a timeless and universal story about the lines we abide by, and the ones we don’t.


Well, if you haven't heard about THE HELP, you might be dead. Not only have c
ritics and magazines and newspapers adored this book, but they adored the film adaption, too. But don't feel bad if you didn't know much about it. I only knew that it was about black maids. But it was much more than that.

So, basically this is how I got my hands on it, and what I thought of it-
I kept hearing about it. Kept hearing about it. Kept hearing about it. It was getting so much acclaim! It was gaining ground of awesomeness. But, see, I don't typically like historical fiction.
AT ALL. Oh, gosh. IT'S SO FREAKING BORING! Typically. And, I thought, no offense, but I think the whole 60's
African-American civil rights movement has been told in all the ways that it can.

I don't think I'm the only one that goes




...when historical fiction is mentioned. "But no!" my friends said. "It's awesome!" They were like:



And I just went:



But then several other friends who I really trust when choosing books told me to read it. "I hate historical fiction, too," they said, "but it's phenomenal."

So I borrowed it, and started reading. I was less than a chapter in when I realized that I was going to adore this book. The characters are so wonderful. I love how the point of view switches from Aibileen, the sweet, endearing maid, to Minny, the sassy maid, to Skeeter, the college grad who wants to write. And speaking about writing, this book's gorgeous in the prose department! Just listen to this, from the first page:
"But I ain't never seen a baby yell like Mae Mobley Leefolt. First day I walk in the door, there she be, red-hot and hollering with the colic, fighting that bottle like it's a rotten turnip."

I just love how it's written with that accent. But what I think I liked the most was that this time, the civil-rights story isn't told by a courageous man who wants to fight the government, or by a determined high-school sports coach that wants to integrate teams. It's told by women who can lose a whole lot. And they're fighting perfectly sweet looking ladies'-league members with new dresses and shiny cars. It shows the sinister side to what goes on during a polite summer game of bridge. It's literally one of my all time favorite books now. EVER. It's my favorite adult book.
When I finished it, I was like:



And when I see my friend who let me borrow the book next, I'm gonna be like:

Well, see ya on Friday! And hope you're having a good year so far!
-Aaron

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

LITTLE BEE by Chris Cleave

February 16th, 2010 - Simon & Schuster
Synopsis: We don't want to tell you too much about this book. It is a truly special story and we don't want to spoil it. Nevertheless, you need to know something, so we will just say this: It is extremely funny, but the African beach scene is horrific. The story starts there, but the book doesn't. And it's what happens afterward that is most important. Once you have read it, you'll want to tell everyone about it. When you do, please don't tell them what happens either. The magic is in how it unfolds.

First of all, sorry it's been awhile since I posted. What with the climax of NaNo and it's finale, trying to finish up school, and, you know, life, I've been pretty busy. Also, my status on NaNo...... Drumroll, please.................................................................................. I failed miserably! :D

No, but really. I only got about 12k words in. Which is more than nothing, and at least it forced me to focus on finishing my novel-sticking to that darn outline and trying outlandish and crazy techniques. I wouldn't have given up the experience though.

Well, review time!

Kind of.

As the synopsis says, a lot shouldn't be said because they want to let it unfold. And.... Well, I'm not going to show much more than what the synopsis says.

If you open to the publication page, as I did because I always think it's funny, the words they list as "fiction" at the bottom (i.e., 'love-fiction, memory loss-fiction'). Anyway, if you read it mentions things like Nigerians, England, and immigration. And OMG. Was that African beach scene horrific, or what?

The only other thing I'll say about this is that I adore. Oh, I adore this so, so, so, so, so, so, so much! There's something I want to jot down in my book of quotes on every other page. I know it sounds cheesy to say this, but it's pure poetry. I mean, just listen to this:

'On the girl's brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.'

O_O Beautiful, isn't it?

Besides the god-like writing, the story is phenomenal. It's all so real. You know that feeling you get when an author writes something in their book that makes you go, "Woah. That's totally how I feel sometimes, completely captured in these words. I've never heard any other writer talk about that"? That's what this book does. Throughout the ENTIRE FREAKING THING.

Peace, unicorns, and lots and lots of egg rolls,
Aaron
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